Vegans for Equality and Gratitude for Animals: Cryptids

This page contain various "cryptid" links which I find entertaining or fascinating

Goatman
Jersey Devil
Bigfoot
Beast of Bray Road

About Me

I am a Level 4 Vegan.

I do not eat anything that casts a shadow.

In the spring of 1982, I was awakened to my Vegan state. I was sitting at a popular steak house, about to chomp into a juicy 2" thick side of Hereford when a voice said "STOP!".

So I put the steak down, and went to take a bite of corn. Again the voice said "STOP!".

Puzzled, I took a bite of my baked potato. The first bite was great, so I took another. This one happened to have some sour cream on it. The voice said "STOP!".

It took me a while to puzzle it all out, but I finally figured it out. The potato grew below the ground, its entire life never being exposed to sunlight. Following this logic, I have put together a list of foods that fit my diet. They include root vegetables, worms, subterranean larvae such as cicadas, and an occasional juicy mole or vole.

I have since learned from my inner voice that I hail from the constellation Lyra, and a planet that is perpetually obscured from our sun, Vega, by another planet. Whenever I goof and try to eat something I shouldn't, the voice says "STOP!" There are some foods I discovered I can eat during the darkness of a new moon. I've put a convenient moon phase gadget at the bottom of the page.

I'll be sharing recipes for all sorts of yumminess that should never have seen the light of day. Enjoy!

Pages

Cryptids

No comments:

Post a Comment